[Lalalala – Dick van Dyke]

I’m a British Tourist and I’m very, very rude.
I hate the stinking foreigners

hate their stinking food

I don’t like French or Germans

I don’t care for Belgians much
But worst of all worst of all

I hate the Dutch

The Dutch, the Dutch
I hate them worse than dogs.

They live in windmills
and mince around in clogs.

They don’t have any manners

They don’t say ‘thanks’ or ‘please’
all they eat is tulips
and stinking gouda cheese…

I’m a British tourist with a countenance severe

I love to strike the foreign type
And box their poxied ears

But there’s one woggy dago

I cannot bear to touch
The slimy crawling

stench appalling
snotty grotty Dutch

The Dutch are mad
Their fingers stuck in dikes

They use the wrong side of the road

And ride around on bikes

They don’t have any manners,
don’t have any brains.

There’s only one race worse than them
and that’s… THE DANES!